It was not until someone handed me Harville Hendrix’s book, Keeping the Love You Find, did I finally understand my role in the dysfunctional. Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. created Imago Harville: We wrote Keeping The Love You Find to address that. Keeping the Love You Find. By Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., ISBN 5 star must reading. [The following is what I highlighted during my read of this.

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Somehow we have gotten the misguided idea that you have to leave a marriage in order to grow and change. I admit this was a very painful read.

Instead of being taken by surprise, and reacting by criticizing or retreating, you will not panic. You keeplng surrender to the process, and have faith that your efforts will move you toward wholeness.

Trivia About Keeping the Love Clinging; demanding; attempts to fuse. In fact, dating with intention while integrating and working on creating a healthier me was the best part.

He specializes in working with couples in private practice, teaching marital therapy to therapists, and conducting couples workshops across the country. But a moratorium on mate hunting can be an invaluable opportunity for self-discovery at any age.

Looking for the Imago Relationships International professional site? Because we have not reoriented ourselves to the revised agenda of marriage, we’re making a mess of it. Keisha F 7 years ago. I am safe if I hold on to you. Within our quest to unstuck ourselves, we are constantly attracted to individuals who will help perpetuate that stage of childhood and development in the hopes that this time we can actually overcome it.


Keeping the Love you Find

Distant; has no needs. Running away solves nothing; eventually the same problems show up further down the road. This emergence of the feminine has stirred up considerable alarm and discomfort, particularly on the role-embedded males Lists with This Book.

How do we reclaim our lost parts, the good and the bad, and put ourselves back together? Your self-knowledge is incomplete, and your preparation for marriage limited, without insight into how you were affected by what you saw and imitated.

This book took me a very long time to complete. It takes two to create this warped ballet.

Wrong and stop throwing away Mr. The changes required of us in order to become healing partners for our mates are often the changes that are kweping difficult for us to make. Rather than getting rid of the partner and keeping the problem, you should get rid of the problem so that you can keep the partner. The Minimizer has tight, rigid boundaries, and relates everything to himself; he cannot walk in your shoes, or see your point harviole view.

Parvez Zuberi 7 years ago. Inevitably, reality rudely shatters our illusion.

Having been single for the first 48 years of my life, healthy relationships not only eluded me, but I seemed to repel them. What babies need even more to survive is physical and emotional contact; they need a reliable source of love and comfort. And if we don’t feel alive, we feel like we’re doing to die. As a matter of fact, he was on the fond 17 times and Oprah lists Harville Hendrix as one of her top 20 haville on the show. See 1 question about Keeping the Love You Find….


I found myself going through the pages with highlighters and pencil and taking notes. Hendrix has many interesting things to say about the Imago and why we are attracted to pe Anyone who claims they have read this book and completed all the exercises in their entirety has to be either a flat out liar or an individual with a ghe threshold for pain.

We hate ourselves for having needs that we were told were excessive or inappropriate, and for having traits that were hated by our caretakers. Good luck to anyone who tackles this and a trophy for anyone who actually succeeds. But you, especially, must acknowledge the wrong done to you, express your anger, and be able to let go of blame —of yourself and your caretakers.

Keeping the Love You Find | Book by Harville Hendrix | Official Publisher Page | Simon & Schuster

He says that the romantic love stage of a marriage is supposed to not last, that if couples can get past the next stages, that’s a good thing. Jul 10, Wendy rated it it was amazing.

How many have filled in worksheets?